'Open water swimming, like a lot of pastimes I suppose, can really get in to your blood. After a while, it became something that we all had to do and, after 5 years of turning up at the beach early every Sunday morning, I can say that it's become part of my routine. It can be invigorating, testing, rewarding and (at times) terrifying in equal measure. We are keen swimmers - we must be - but sometimes the swimming is a bonus. By this, I mean that the friendship is more important to us - we look forward to our weekly adventures together.'
Even though we cannot feel our toes,
We got us some brown adipose,
To keep us warm out in the sea,
Even in the month of Jan-u-ar-y.
It's cold out there, but we don't care.
Even Carlton (who's got no hair),
Strips off his layers - all twelve of them -
And sets off on his back again.
He swims just three feet from the shore;
He doesn't like the deep no more.
And there goes Brian, with his ice-cream head.
The rest of the world is still in bed.
Feeling smug, he paddles about,
Knowing that, when he gets out,
A dry-robe is waiting in his bag;
The heater of his classic Jag.
Cameron is the spawn of Brian;
Unlike most teens, he's made of iron.
No lie-ins for him, on a Saturday morn.
On Sundays too, he's up at dawn.
Although he works late at the Sub,
He is the future of our club.
Filling each minute with seconds swum,
You too will be a man, my son!
Next to wade into the sea,
Is the ginger ninja, known as Leigh.
He wants the others to think he's tough
So he goes out when it's rather rough,
Or stays in when he's past his best
And needs his pals to get him dressed.
Last to dip is Mad Dog Jase,
Inane grin upon his face.
He keeps a bathtub in his yard
And likes to fill himself with lard.
He experiments with fancy lubes,
To keep the chafing from his moobs.
On chilly days, we can barely talk.
On bambi legs, we try to walk,
With stones in our socks and silted hair,
To find a car, to recover there.
The banter flows, it works like glue,
To bond us boys whose lips are blue.
We throw our cocoa on our thighs,
The unfelt medals of our highs.
Looking out, we see Hythe Bay,
The challenge (for another day),
Is Dungeness to Folkestone's Sands.
Slowly, surely, we draw our plans...
What they said...
'My favourite so far, but I've enjoyed every single one. Keep them coming!' - Ermus
'Good one Duncan Leigh. Here's to creativity, happiness and freedom!' - Lucy
'Love the art on your website. Dipper's Rap is my favourite too... and The Blue Porpoise.' - Emma
'My favourite so far, but I've enjoyed every single one. Keep them coming!' - Ermus
'Good one Duncan Leigh. Here's to creativity, happiness and freedom!' - Lucy
'Love the art on your website. Dipper's Rap is my favourite too... and The Blue Porpoise.' - Emma